Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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