you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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