is your mom at the bar?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
we're so committed to being not committed
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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