FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
