So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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