I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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