Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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