Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
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Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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