The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
