well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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