clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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