the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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