Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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