wakey wakey hands off snakey
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
