why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
