its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
