I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
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he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
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You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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