I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize