so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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