Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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