i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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