Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I need to stop coming to work sober
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
