We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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