you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
