I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
