Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
