is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
