Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
