vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
