walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
