The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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