Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
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i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
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How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I think my moral compass just broke
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