Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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