he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
