I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the day after is always just damage control
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She bit a glass in half.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
