I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
There's always time for handjobs
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
