New low: just hacked my moms facebook
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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