i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
