i just wanna soil my oats bro
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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