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• (510): View more from California

  I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...

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• (619): View more from California

  He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole

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• (518): View more from New York

  Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.

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• (530): View more from California

  When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  How much did you drink?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say

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• (845): View more from New York

  Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"

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