So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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