Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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