God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize