College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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