Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
