Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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