I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
