jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
