Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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