At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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