I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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