Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
